Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
