At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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