yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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