dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Vodka?
Forever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
