I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
