i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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