Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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