i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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