I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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