I've blown a few things in my day
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
