just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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