If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
