Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
