Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
