you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
