i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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