I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
