oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
