Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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