If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
