We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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