My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
