if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
