now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
