You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
