You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
