i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
