He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
