I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
