You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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