Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
