I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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