im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
