I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
