dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
