well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
