you guys were way drunker than both of me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
