So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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