I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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