I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
