I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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