She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
