I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
