Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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