It's Friday. Sex?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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