Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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