My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It was confusing and full of hummus
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
