Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
