How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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