i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't deserve a penis
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
