fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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